1. |
Misery Ditch
03:11
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She claimed the cafe where I first met her
A cold-blooded, break-up technique
Made sure there was no public drama
While her crocodile mascara ran down her Ann Margret cheek
. . .her perfect Ann Margret cheek
Ten times a day I re-read her letter
I’m just a shell of a man
Been drinking beer in my pajamas
Eating Dinty Moore Beef Stew straight outta the can
What’s it gonna take to stop the swelling
This fractured heart sure hurts like a bitch
I Keep trying to crawl out of this love I fell in
Drag myself out of this misery ditch
I left some things in her apartment
She stopped returning my calls
Next time I shack up with a model
I’ll know the higher the stiletto the harder the fall
I doubt I’ll ever forget the scent of her hair
It's like a memory tattoo
Dropped off her keys and took a bottle
Of her Faberge Organics Wheat Germ and Honey Shampoo
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2. |
Norman Rockwell Scene
03:56
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She scared me shitless the night that we met
Snatched a pull from my cigarette
Said I’m getting pregnant just looking at you
A covered porch with a red front door
And a tire swing in a sycamore
Asked if I could see all of that too
I said we’ll know where the neighbors hide their keys
Cause they’ll ask us to feed their Siamese
I’ll acquire a taste for bourbon neat
The slip-n-slide will destroy the lawn
But at least the TV won’t be on
We’ll curse the weekends at swimming meets
And we’ll Run out of candy every Halloween
Cause there’ll be So many kids in our Norman Rockwell Scene
Before I could finish my degree
Sheila came and made us three
I was never good at making plans
A fire escape is our backyard
We’ve maxed out all our credit cards
And my bourbon still comes in cans
It missed her heart but it found her spine
took out T7, 8 and 9
Braces are a distant possibility
We used her college fund in the Folgers can
For the wheelchair lift on the minivan
She got out of the ICU last week
She saved a year for the prom dress and the limousine
Why would someone shoot up her Norman Rockwell Scene?
Now when we lay down to sleep
I count sirens instead of sheep
and all the money we've pissed away on rent
“He wasn’t trying to make God laugh”
That’s gonna be my epitaph
Still wouldn’t trade a single day I’ve spent
And we’ll Run out of candy every Halloween
Cause there’ll be So many kids in our Norman Rockwell Scene
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3. |
Cheatin' Death
03:44
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This rocking chair is my nemesis
I’m not content to reminisce
while I can still hear wind in the pines
The mirror’s become your enemy
It’s just a cold reflection you don’t need
cause In my eyes you’ve outsmarted time
I can still see the wide-eyed ingenue
and the newlywed in Kathmandu
and the tutor who took my breath
It’s time for you and me to start cheatin’ death
Another neighbor taken down
His kids put him in that place downtown
cause they heard that the staff is great
They’re all falling over one by one
like sunflowers dying in October sun
but we’ll be the last to meet that fate
So take your old man by the hand
and we’ll whistle past the promised land
and we’ll lay to rest every regret
It’s time for you and me to start cheatin’ death
Vegas seems like the place to go
For those with some wild oats left to sew
so let’s go check out all the fuss
Hell, let’s start smoking, get tattoos,
maybe rob a bank, make the evening news
the old rules don’t apply to us
No diagnosis is part of any plan
And there’s no sense trying to understand
ain’t sticking around to run more tests
It’s time for you and me to start cheatin’ death
Cheatin’ death at a game of chance - two sweethearts at a graveyard dance
Cheatin’ death out of his last dime - ain’t giving back any borrowed time
Cheatin’ death every chance that we get - you can’t chalk a moving silhouette
Until he draws and quarters our last breath, you and I are gonna keep cheating death
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4. |
Father's Day
04:16
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Bleachers start to fill up, Sarah's probably next to Joan
Our daughter's bored and angry, zombie-staring at her phone
I can almost smell the cut grass and the asphalt parking lot
I can see em all there waiting for first pitch at one o’clock
While I hide behind my stack of ones and crystal ball a Jamesons
Enablers make lousy friends and a bar stool ain't no place to spend
Father's Day
Father's Day
Squinting from the dugout scanning faces in the crowd
He’s hoping that I'll make it, but he knows I'm not allowed
I Can taste his disappointment, cause my Dad did it to me
Bar clock says 2:30, so it's only 2:15
While I hide behind my stack of ones and crystal ball a Jamesons
Enablers make lousy friends and a bar stool ain't no place to spend
Father's Day
Father's Day
Another shot of courage and I'm gonna push my luck
Should probably take a taxi, But if I drive might still make Last Ups
Screech into the parking lot, with a black and white behind
All heads turn from the diamond to watch my world unwind
My face is on my car hood, and my ex-wife's lost her mind
I can see him in the batter's box, staring down the 3rd base line
His eyes they won't meet mine
on
Father's Day
Father's Day
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